by Claire L. Lanier

It happened again. A few weeks ago, I asked a new friend who’s a dude if he watches “Orange is the New Black,” and I heard it: “Nah, I’m sure it’s great, I’ve heard good things, but, you know, it’s a chick show, so I can’t really relate.”

It’s always hard not to spiral into the both logical and emotional rant we all have on the ready: about how women have had to find meaning in well-written male characters for years — generations! — because few have been willing to portray women with the same humanity; about how women are simply just people and “women’s issues” and “women’s stories” aren’t all about periods and nail polish (though both are very important topics of discussion); about how we’re constantly subjected to dick-joke-ridden, male-driven comedies that are never labeled “dude shows” because we’re all supposed to take what we can from it and somehow as ladies and on top of that, we’re perceived as “cooler” if we revel in your phallic humor. You’re telling me you can’t open yourself up to empathy and a universe of humor simply because you’re faced with a female lead? You know, you really are going to die alone.

Sometimes I omit the last part.

Every now and then, the rant works, but more often, it doesn’t. But perhaps the most effective antidote to the “I can’t relate to chick media” isn’t my well-meaning militancy (surprise, surprise) but the continual creation of smart, female-driven comedies that don’t marginalize women to the sidelines of their own stories, but pull them forward as flawed, strange, terrible, compelling, kind, hilarious, complex humans. Maybe our best argument is in the evidence. Below are seven of my favorite lady comedies, some film, some TV, some older, some brand new. While maybe I’ll never be able to convince every guy I know that “chick media” is for everyone, maybe some of these stories will.

“In a World…” (2013, Rentable on Amazon Video, $3.99)

It’s impossible for me to make a list like this without mentioning this indie gem. The humor is subtle and cozy, and the charming, easy story hits on the complexity of being a woman in a male-dominated field. But perhaps more than anything, I can’t seem to get enough of how perfectly Lake Bell (who wrote, directed, and starred in it) captures the awkwardness of a generally confident woman, a nuance I think we can all relate to. (Just because I know what I’m doing some of the time doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing all of the time, amiright?) With an all-star supporting cast — Michaela Watkins, Rob Corddry, Demetri Martin, Fred Melamed, Ken Marino, and even a little Tig Notaro — it’s a great inspiration for strong, witty writing and reminds me that telling empowering stories about women doesn’t have to be big or serious. It can exist in a smaller space and still speak volumes.

 

 

 

 

“Fleabag” (2016, Amazon Video free with Prime)

Phoebe Waller-Bridge is one of those women who found a way to crawl into all of our brains, take out the parts that make us feel embarrassed and alone, and put it on screen in a way that helps us realize, “Well, even though it’s possible I’m falling down a well of loneliness, somehow I still feel okay about it, and I might even able to laugh at it.” In “Fleabag,” a never-named, self-described “greedy, perverted, selfish, apathetic, cynical, depraved, morally bankrupt woman who can’t even call herself a feminist” breaks the fourth wall and reels us in with her oh-so-lovely British vulgarity.

But despite her myriad flaws, you seem to grow to love the title character only more, her self-deprecation and authenticity outshining everything else. Like Kristen Wiig’s heartbreakingly witty and stoic Annie in “Bridesmaids,” Waller-Bridge’s character exhibits the just-holding-on strength that perfectly encapsulates the fear we all confront: “Either everyone feels this a little bit, and they’re just not talking about it, or I’m really fucking alone, which isn’t fucking funny.”

 

“Insecure” (2016, HBO)

We can all relate to Issa Rae. Trapped somewhere between security and spontaneity, between courage and fear, between the drive for success and just saying “screw you, boss, this place blows,” Issa is trying hard as hell to live her best life without destroying what’s already good. And man is that hard. “Insecure” shows us the intricacies — and unintended consequences — of our bold moves, but the moments I enjoy most are the quiet ones when Issa is talking her way through a decision, like the first episode’s brief sequence of trying on a whole mess of lip colors only to decide on au naturale because the darker colors are “too aggressive.” Issa knows all too well our constant navigation to be the ideal version of ourselves in the face of our writhing, wide-eye-emoji self-panic. It’s stressful to watch, but calming to recover from together.

 

 

 

 

“One Mississippi” (2016, Amazon Video free with Prime)

Tig Notaro’s story is tough. If you’ve heard her legendary 2011 stand-up or her 2015 Netflix documentary “Tig” or her 2015 HBO special Boyish Girl Interrupted, (and if you haven’t, you should check ‘em out), you know the comedian has faced a series of overwhelming tragedies in a short amount of time. In the comedy (which could fall under the same category as SNL’s “Broken”) Tig returns to her home and we join her on the journey we’ve only heard her riff on. Most compelling are her relationships with the supporting characters – her stoic stepfather, whose aptitude for seeing his own wrongs could seem forced but instead feels authentically familial; and her real-life wife Stephanie Allyne playing a potential love-interest, with whom Tig (unsurprisingly) has great chemistry. As a product of a southern family, I also appreciate that One Mississippi portrays the south in a dignified way – not over glorified to suit the story but also not oversimplified as bigoted or unrelatable to East and West Coast viewers. But my favorite part is that “One Mississippi” offers us more time with Tig, who is impossible not to adore. If you’re not already in love with the warm, monotone comedy legend, get ready for a new obsession.

 

“Ruby Sparks” (2012, Rentable on Amazon Video, $3.99)

An amazing story for women or writers. Calvin (Paul Dano), trapped in a fit of writer’s block, dreams up a character — his own manic pixie dream girl, essentially — and puts her down in black and white on his typewriter, quaintly naming her Ruby Sparks. To his astonishment, she suddenly appears in real life (played by Zoe Kazan), and each behavior and attitude he types about her manifests in this real human who has shown up on his doorstep. If it sounds unsettling to see a man create a woman who loves him and then control her every word and move, your feelings are justified, and the film feels this, too. When Calvin starts to feel overwhelmed by Ruby’s clinginess (invented, of course, by him), he begins to construct a more whole, interesting lover for himself but it doesn’t go as smoothly as he’d hoped. The story, brilliantly written by Kazan, explores the fullness of women in the context of relationships through Calvin’s catch-22: the more independent and autonomous he makes her, the less power he has to hold onto her (Damn, straight.)

 

 

 

 

“Zootopia” (2016, currently on Netflix)

Must. Watch. “Zootopia” is about much, much, much more than womanhood, but it cannot be overlooked that the main character is a tiny lady bunny determined to make it as a big-time cop, even in the company of the (primarily male) rhinos and bears and lions that dominate the police force and political offices in the seemingly idyllic Zootopia, where prey and predator get along. The humility of the character in the face of her flaws and prejudices shows astutely how empathy, education, and openness can create stronger, more inclusive citizens — even for someone already as kind and seemingly innocuous as our bunny. It’s certainly one to watch with the nieces/nephews/daughters/sons, but also wholly acceptable as a solo endeavor.

 

 

 

 

Ali Wong: “Baby Cobra” (2016, Netflix)

If you haven’t watched it, you’ve probably seen it pop up on your Netflix menu. With so much new original content on the platform, it’s tough to decide what is worthy of your time on the ‘flix, but this is one to click on. Wong, a writer for ABC’s not-great “Fresh Off the Boat,” shows such refreshing complexity in her special. Wong shows with such ease that you can be pregnant and an environmentally conscious yuppie vegan and talk about your avid anal sex and have a desire to be a lazy, stay-at-home, non-working kept woman and still be a confident, smart, successful, professional woman all at once. *Swoon.*

Honorable mentions if you haven’t already watched: “Transparent,” “Jessica Jones,” “Broad City,” “Full Frontal with Samantha Bee,” “Brooklyn,” “The Good Place”

 

Claire L. Lanier is an editor and writer who spends her days chugging out social media content for a New York history museum. Last year she was the host of “Claire’s Clues.” When she’s not thinking about American history or watching too much TV, she’s working on her M.A. in Media Studies from The New School for Public Engagement. She doesn’t really use Twitter, but if you want to connect, shoot her a DM @ritaskeetskeet.