by Marissa Price

Aussies are often a misunderstood breed. When we travel overseas, we seem to be a bit of a novelty with delighted locals often throwing out the “Can you just say ‘G’day mate’ for me?” The 24.13 million Australians who populate our beautiful country are just as complicated as people from all over the world with our own issues, worries and concerns. As a whole, we’re seen as a happy-go-lucky, quick-witted bunch who enjoy a beer at a BBQ on a weekend. And while that might be true to some extent, we’re also very diverse with a wide range of interests and beliefs.

Australia is one of the most multicultural places on Earth. We’re not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but the Aussie ethos of “she’ll be right, mate” and a fair go for everyone are at the core of what we are about. Only 25.9% of our population identify as being from a British background – and it’s not all convict related. There seems to be an incorrect perception that Aussies are either Indigenous Australians or solely the descendants of criminals. One or the other. I mean, some of us are, but that’s another story. In reality, our population is a patchwork quilt of English, Irish, Scottish, Greek, Italian, Chinese, German, Indian, Dutch and African Australians. As a result, we have some amazing takeaway food and we have largely tolerant and diverse communities.

To break down the enigma that is a “typical” Aussie (there’s not much that’s typical about us), here is a top 5 list of ways to understand the average Australian:

1. 1. We don’t throw shrimps on the barbie. A “shrimp” in Australia is a small person, so that would be rather cruel. Generally speaking, we actually don’t BBQ prawns either, we eat them fresh from the trawlers. Things that belong on a barbie include snags (sausages), steak, rissoles (beef patties) and of course the good old lamb chop (‘sup Sam Kekovitch)
   2. Aussies don’t greet each other by saying “G’day mate.” Well, sometimes we do, but you have to really like the person and it’s usually been a while since you’ve seen each other. Or there are a few bevvies involved. Either way, our usual method of greeting one another is simply to say “hello” or “how ya going.”
   3. We don’t keep koalas as pets. They’re really rather vicious and are not always cute and cuddly. A koala smackdown is one of the most disconcerting things you can witness in Australian nature. And that’s saying something, since a high percentage of our wildlife can kill or seriously maim you. And koalas are not bears. Don’t call them bears.
   4. Kangaroos don’t run rampant through our cities. Except for Toorbul. And pretty much any outback or rural town. In these places, kangaroos jump around in abundance, have their photos taken by tourists and generally have a lovely old time. They also fight each other, and since they really can and do grow to the size of an adult male, these are the ones you should back away slowly from.
   5. Thongs are something you wear on your feet, not as undergarments. And boy do you need them during an Australian summer. It’s not uncommon for thongs to melt on the bitumen, which becomes red-hot in the middle of a heatwave in January. There’s nothing worse than “blowing a plugger” (which means breaking your rubber thongs). Be careful with car seat belts, too. They’re like branding irons after a day of your vehicle sitting in the hot sun.
   6. Drop bears are a real danger in Australia… I’ll let you work out if that one’s true or not.

   Australia is a magnificent country with much to offer. Our tourist attractions are second to none, from Uluru in the north to spectacular Tassie in the south. We’re a pretty friendly bunch, too, so a visit to our stomping ground is quite relaxed and an all-around awesome choice. We are so much more than the beer-drinking, stubbies-wearing stereotype that seems to follow us around. (Stubbies are really short shorts!)

2. Who knows, maybe this list might help you when you come and visit our beautiful country. Watch out for the drop bears.

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   Marissa Price is an Australian school teacher who also runs The Literature Factory, which helps Australian children with literacy, reading and writing. The Lit Factory runs tutoring sessions and workshops, as well as publishing several Australian authors including Marissa and Nicole Bonnelli Madeley. Each publication has its own educational value, making them perfect for the Lit Factory imprint.

4. Marissa’s book series, Into the Abyss, currently has two books available. Vault of Verona and Scourge of Scotland follow the story of Harriet Hunter, a young Tasmanian woman who discovers that she is able to travel back into the stories of the greatest literary giant the world has ever known – Shakespeare. Harriet runs rampant in Verona during the time of Romeo and Juliet, tasked with the job of stopping the ticking time bomb that will be a double suicide. Her story continues in Scotland with Macbeth’s ambition providing the catalyst for a collision that will change the course of history for generations to come. For more information on the Into the Abyss series or The Literature Factory, visit www.theliteraturefactory.com.au.